Every year on January 1 I sit down and reflect back on the previous 365 days. Don’t we all?
It’s usually something DT and I do on New Year’s Eve. But, he was back in NY to officiate his sisters wedding, so I was solo mama with the two kids this year. We had a good time together with themed crafts and a pretty amazing snack-time cheese board, but it wasn’t the same as having an adult around to close up the old and ring in the new.
For me, 2015 was the most challenging year of my life. Nothing in the past 31 years on this earth prepared me to become a mom of two. Not that I didn’t have some great moments, I mean we did FINALLY get married, but looking back this year seemed to be on fast forward and slow motion all at the same time.
If you look back on this blog I had a total of ZERO posts in 2015. I barely had time to breathe, let alone write. I didn’t even make goals for the year, thats how chaotic it was! (blasphemous, I know.)
I secretly think that’s why this year was so tough. I had nothing to live up to- no goals, no agenda, no plans. I just literally woke up each morning to a brand new day. Almost like Groundhogs Day, but worse because there was no consistency.
I’d like to think I did the best I could and tried to live each day for my kiddos and my family. But, since I rarely took time for myself I’m not so sure that happened in reality.
From the outside I bet I looked like a frazzled mess. In truth, I was a total mess. If there is anything that irks me in life it’s when I feel out of control, like I don’t have my shit together. So basically this whole year I felt like a total failure.
I said that out loud, oftentimes, “I feel like every decision I make is wrong. As if I’m constantly doing the wrong thing.” It is the worst feeling in the world.
This year, I vow to have a more positive outlook on life. Starting with today! I’m reading Gretchen Rubin’s “Happiness Project” for about the third time and she has a whole chapter dedicated to the Fake-It-Till-You-Make-It method. Did you know, if you fake smile and fake positivity it actually helps increase happiness!
(I’m even practicing my fake smile right now as I sip left over champagne and both littles nap. Lord knows the quiet is only going to last another 13 seconds.)
Each month I plan to focus on a different area of my life, instead of a laundry list of goals. I feel this is a better route for me this year. I plan to reflect on these as I go through them and this blog will help hold me accountable.
In another post I’ll share these intentions for 2016 (I like that word better than goals) While some are totally silly, others are serious and hopefully all achievable. PLUS, I’ll divulge my 2016 Commandments (Just like Gretchen) and my word for 2016. (I didn’t even have a WORD for 2015- can you IMAGINE?! Words are my life. I guess looking back it should have been “Survive” 😉
So, without further ado, here is my look back at 2015. I promise there is some positivity!
In 2015 :
I want more…adventures with my kiddos!
I look forward to 2016 being different… in every possible way?
Catch Up On Previous Years here:
2014: I basically spent the whole year sewing and getting ready to meet our little girl. I learned you CAN live on $17,000 income being a maker & have a baby in the same year. However, Medicaid helps.
2015: Survived from week-to-week by marketing consulting, sewing and a lot of love from helping hands such as neighbors, family, coworkers and general good people of the world.