Admit it, approaching someone you admire or want to get to know in real life is hard.
You have to work up the nerve to introduce yourself, explain who you are, why you want to connect and put your request in context….frankly its stressful.
Online, its a totally different story.
It takes only a few minutes to Google someone, learn about what and who they love, their careers, passions and interest and make a decision about connecting.
It’s actually easier to reach out to people online, a lot easier than you think!
If you know me, then you know a majority of my friends and trusted connections are people I have met and only know digitally. I may not be the best at making friends in real life, but online I’ve found people to be very open to connecting and super nice!
Tools like TweetDeck and Topsy are great for discovering interesting blog posts or people. I use these both when I’m searching for inspiration, industry trends or just need a pick-me-up. Oftentimes I choose who I want to follow based not just on their updates but also what other kinds of things they share with their networks and overall personality too.
Say I find a good article by a female in the tech industry with tips for creating podcasts, when I check her Twitter profile it says she’s also from Washington DC. I lived in DC for three years and I work in Tech today, so I’d most likely enjoy her updates and I would follow her. Come to think of it, I’m more likely to follow this person across other social networks too, not just Twitter, because she has so much in common with my own interests, and may know some of the same people I do. Online it takes minutes to discover all this, whereas in real life it could take months or even years.
On the other hand, be smart abou who you follow and where. My advice would be to be selective about where you follow your online connections. Certain people should only be followed on one or two platforms, while other uber digital socialites may share on every single social network.
For example, I follow a ton of crafters, stationary designers and personal stylists on Instagram and Pinterest but don’t necessarily connect with them on Twitter, Facebook or their blog. I love the visuals, but thats all I need. Now for female entrepreneurs or women launching startups, I will follow them on any and all social channels to soak up all their valuable knowledge. Its about value and the level of connection you’re seeking. Instagram and Pinterest are fairly causal relationships, Blogs and Twitter are a little more personal and Facebook one of the most personal ways to connect online today.
Its all relevant to you and what you’re looking to get out of the connection, but once you start following someone, its a lot like dating. You get to know other parts of their life and suddenly you may feel like best friends- more so than your actual friends!
This is not uncommon, trust me. It’s not weird to make online friends in this day and age. I even asked my Twitter followers who agreed:
@andreagenevieve It’s become pretty normal. In fact, some of my best friends IRL now are people I initially met online.
— jennifer cunningham (@jenkcunningham) May 21, 2013
Just this week, a blogger I originally found on Instagram posted a question on Facebook looking for good conferences to attend. Since I am a follower and fan of her blog, I reached out to her (on Facebook, a super personal social network) and offered my two cents. I happen to also be a closet workshop and conference nerd (if I had it my way I’d fly all over the country attending educational events, but that’s a post for another day) so it wasn’t hard. Hopefully, she found it useful and now we might meet each other in person someday if we attend the same conference. When that happens, it’s an amazing serendipity. Meeting online connections in real life is one of life’s greatest joys, thanks to the internet.
I could have easily held back and just watch other people respond but honestly, reaching out online is easier that you think.
Another good blogger friend of mine was having a crummy day, so she asked her network “Friends! What do you do to release a random bad mood?” Within 20 minutes she has 32 responses. Another 10 minutes it was up to 50! The power of digital networks is amazing and I’ll bet most of those responses came from people that had never met in person.
So many opportunities arise because connecting and learning is easier than ever, thanks to social media.
How do you connect with someone you admire without being creepy? Easy. Find that someone in your Twitter feed or Instagram and shoot them a note, or offer some advice the next time they ask. They may turn around and give you something great in return.
When in doubt, sieze the moment and reach out. You never know who you’ll me or what you’ll learn.
Photo credit: zhrefch
Cheers!
