On my quest to make 2016 just a little bit better than 2015, I’ve decided to embark on a year-long Happiness Project. Inspired in part by the book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, and in part by my own internal drive to find meaning among the chaos that has become my life as a mother of two toddlers.
In her book, Rubin suggests developing a list of personal Commandments before starting on a mission to find greater happiness. She uses these when confronted with challenges, tasks and general day-to-day decisions. Sort of like a mantra, these commandments act as guidelines to live by. I really loved this idea because when I look back on the most difficult times of my life I’ve always had a mantra or phrase. It’s true, I always love a good list.
Some previous mantras include:
“Everything is alright, everything is ok.” (My hectic days as an urbanite in Washington, DC)
“This is not your life.” (My first few weeks living in Austin)
“Nothing in life is good or bad, thinking makes it so.” (High school. Enough said.)
“Andrea, get your head out of your ass.” (Transition between college and real adult life.)
Right now there isn’t just one phrase that strikes me. Plus, because I plan to focus on so many different topics this year I felt a list (go figure) would suit nicely.
Maybe it will suit you too! It could be 2 or 22, but I’ve chosen 11 Commandments to help me throughout 2016:
- Focus
I tend to think I can multitask like a boss, but really I suck at doing more than one thing at any given time. Over the last week I’ve practiced focusing on whatever single task was at hand, nothing else and it was surprisingly calming. I felt less rushed and frazzled. Instead of going through my mental list of “what happens next” in the shower, I just took a damn shower. Instead of rushing my kids out the door thinking about what activity we’d we do when we returned home, I danced with them to the car and had fun. - Slow Down
UGH. I should have this tattooed to my forehead. It’s nothing new. I am too fast. I always have been and always will be slightly speedier than most people.
When I was 7 my dance teachers told my parents I danced a half-beat ahead of the tune.
At our college commencement speech my mentor placed a card on the podium that read SPEAK SLOWLY as a reminder to me. - Laugh daily
Kids are funny. If you haven’t realized this, you’re missing out. Just watch and listen.
This year I’m hoping to write down all the silly things they do and say and put them in a keepsake jar. From time-to-time we’ll take them out and have a good laugh.
Once during a particularly stressful week waiting for a client paycheck my son says to me in the car on the way to school, “Namaste mom.”
I laughed out loud.
Wise kid…. - Be aware of time and timing
Why is it that everything take SO MUCH LONGER than anticipated? I used to rationalize doubling my estimated time to complete tasks was enough. No way. Now I have to basically add an hour or four to anything I’m hoping to do. - Be present
This is tough. My brain is hard wired to look to the next thing. It goes with my speediness. Which oftentimes causes me to miss parts of life. Mindfulness is a challenge, but I’m working on it. - Love hard
Love is one of those things that goes through ups and downs. I’m worried that my love output is on the low end and I intend to strengthen that this year. So, consider yourself warned. I’m going to love the shit out of a lot of you this year! - Finish what was started
That photo album of Junie’s First Year? The Polaroid’s from our wedding? This list could go on and on. I’m a do-er, but apparently I’m also sometimes a Non-Finisher. - Go for a walk
Studies show that getting up and going for a walk stimulates creativity. My friend Sarah even started a walking group to get people together for, you guessed it, taking a walk! I get my best ideas when I’m working out, or walking around our neighborhood. I aim to get outside at least once a day this year. - Say no
Looking back over my stressed-out year, I saw a trend. Whenever some opportunity arose my default was to respond “Yes!” and then figure out how to actually do it later. This is not sustainable. I can’t continue to function by:
– Always saying yes
– Cramming so many things into a day
– Thinking that it’s a missed opportunity if I say No
– Making decisions based on potential income (because sometimes time is more valuable than money) - Ask for help
Asking for help in my mind is equated to weakness. Which is totally ridiculous. I remember some of the highest, happiest points of my life came to be because of other people. So this year, I’m asking for help. Even DT, which is the ULTIMATE low for me. I need to realize he doesn’t judge me if I ask for help. It’s part of being a team. We’re officially a legally married team now, so we should start acting like one. - Stay true to myself
In all my reflections over the years I have never felt more un-like myself than I do right now. Which is weird, because I know this is exactly where I’m supposed to be in life. There are a few small things that I did not get to do in 2015 so I’m going to make it a point to make time and space to do those things that are important. Working out is one, juicing is another and listening to my gut when it comes to making business decisions for Hello Sunday.
What about you? If you had to make a list of personal commandments what would be on your list?
